I found the happines today. I were doing my deep water running excersice and I felt myself over happy, simply too much for one person to have.. I wanted to scream as loud as I can just because I felt so good. Just to make sure, DWR doesn't make you feel that special :) Anyway, instead of screaming I just spin my legs under water super fast. I'm not telling this because I would have been depressed lately. Feelings of happiness just isn't that strong when I can't ride my bike.

I think this all started yesterday when I were chatting with my friend all night long. Once again someone where questioning why I have become a hermit. I simply answered that because I don't like people. Well I do like good company and I even think that I like people more that averige. Normally people do shirk their own company. How can you be in the company without any tension if you all the time have the afraid of being alone. You are supposed to be in the company because you like others not because you don't like to be alone.

Everyone seems to have their own picture how I will get lost from sosiety and not see anyone for 50 years. Came on, I haven't been at my cottage for 1 day without visiting city. So there is no need to be scared of me becoming real hermit. And even if I would do that, I can tell it would be conscious decision. In that case I do recommend everyone of you thinking of doing the same ;) If someone decides to walk on footpath and avoid the highways it doen't mean that she (or he) is doing something wrong or that she is lost or anything. It's easy to roll on on highway, just follow the others. But once you hit something you hurt yourself badly. Someone might have consciosly decided to use highway. No one else can tell how aware the other one really is.

For a first I got insulted how people are judging me. I think it thru many times. This is the reason I don't like people. It feels like I'm never accepted the way I am. Others doesn't accept what I do or what I am, but I do. That's it! I do accept myself the way I am. I don't need to explane anymore, it's enough that I know. What a feeling!!!! :)

Tomorrow I feel see one walking specialist. Inthe beginning I had pain in one point of my calf. Now, after 2 weeks physioteraphy, it's hurting in tibia, ankle, and knee. Well at least we got the pain in calf fixed.

I just want to remind everyone that next World Champs are going to be hold in Europe, Holland 22.-27.7.2014

How nice it would have Finnish team in the races! I have already asked few people if they are interested to race there, and some are :) I can't promise that Finnish Cycling Union will sign anyone in. I find that it could help if we have team (people who are heading to the Worlds) who would practice determined over the winter and they would continue on bikes when summer comes.

Generally National Championships are hold before the World Champs (I think UCI calender advising those to be hold 5.-6.7.). This could be qualifying race to see who can get to the Worlds. If we even need to qualify anyone. UCI lets Finland to sign in 16 riders in every class. Last year Worlds had 38 Challenge classes which means over 600 riders from one country. I can guarantee that other European countries are going to sign in as many riders as they have.

Classes (at least 2013):
Boys: 5-6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17-24, 25-29, 30+, Masters 30+
Girls: 5-7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17+
Cruiser men: 12 and younger, 13-14, 15-16, 17-24, 25-29, 30-34, 35-39, 40-44, 45+
Cruiser women: 16 and younger, 17-29, 30+

Cherry on the top is that races are hold in Rotterdam indoor arena. I bet the track will be bigger than last year, but still indoor track will never be as big as it would be outdoor. It's important to consider what kind of skills you will need. Start and 1st straight will become even more important than they usually are. Here is a link to official website.

I think this needs to be start right now. We need some team leader who can organize and solve things out. Also him/her need to contact Finnish Cycling Union.

Extra ideas came to mind too.. I think we should develope Nordic Champs 2015 (which are hold in Finland) to make BMX popular in Finland. Nation which are holding World Champs do same every year. Birmingham 2012 had zero to hero school project so did NZ 2013 had "have go day". Kids who qualifyed from local races raced their finals during the World Champs. By having have a go days in the city centers we would get tv and magazines to see BMX. By having clubs to do their job in the hometowns this wouldn't cause any more pain for the main organizer. I can take Jyväskylä. It might not even have to be organized by clubs. It could be BMX for everyone group where it 10 people and everyone will have their own city to take care of. Please, 9 more people, could you become inspired about this?

Countries which holds World Champs always get many new riders. This is the project what Holland will have 2014. And school projects from New Zealand 2013. There were also competition where kids designed their own helmets. Small things like that are perfect to get kids interested. And 2013 Zero to Hero journey to BMX, Eddie was one of the competitors.  MM-kisa maiden kuskiluvut nousevat aina huomattavasti. Tässä 2014 kisojen tulevaa projektia. Ja 2013 koululaisjuttu Uudessa-Seelannissa, heillä oli myös kypärän suunnittelukisa yms. lapsille sopivaa. Ja zero to hero aloittelijan matka BMXään, joka oli siis 2012 koululaiskisojen yksi osaanottaja.

I have saved you from reading updates about my two hours DWR practices, so I have had nothing to say. Now I'm walking without crutches (which feels pretty awesome) so I'm hoping to get back on my bike soon.

This made me wonder where my one-man-gate is. After last season I left it for my club BMX to use. Although Helsinki BMX club had took it from there. I didn't like that even in the beginning. I don't know why, maybe because I wanted my own club members to be able to use that in practice.

I asked my club if they knew where the gate is. And they told me it's still in Helsinki. So I asked Helsinki BMX members where the gate is, and they didn't know the answer or they told me that it's in Lahti (city of the other club). My friend tried to help me to find the gate by asking in FB. There where only wonders how the gate can disappear. 

The best guess had been one indoor running track where Helsinki BMX Club had practiced last winter. In FB people talked that someone should check that. No one did anything. If it's too far to drive there, calling is pretty simple novadays. I didn't even know where the whole indoor place were. Got to do something so today I called them and after explaining they told me that gate has been left there heedlessly. That BMX people has left it sit on the corner for whole winter while thousands of people uses the indoor facility.. Now it has been took outside and they were about to throw it out, because no one has used it for 6 months and it has been pain in the ass! They told me to get the person who had bring it there to pick it up. I told them that it looks like it's not gonna happen.

So I drove 40km to get there.. didn't even found the indoor place, but finally found my gate, rusty as expected.

I hadn't expect anyone to thank me for borrowing the gate. I did expect to get the gate back in shape. Or if you borrow something and it gets broken by accident, that's life. But when it gets broken by disregard.. can't really let it go that easy. Thinking about the case that no one even return the gate to me, that I had to go and find it!! I did try to get people to return the gate to my club during last winter (not that my club have to drive to Helsinki to get it). The answer what I got was that Helsinki BMX has told that they have practices so they need it more.. Happy ending anyway; I found the gate, I'm able to remove the rust, I can get new pins to hold it together, and replace the aluminum mesh (which by the way costs fortune).

I have got over the shock of broken leg. Life goes on and timing for the injury was perfect again. I got a new bike (trial bike) and container on my back yard. Container is ugly, but it cost me hardly nothing. I will have it for my bikes until I get garage :)

Balancing the ugly container, I got beautiful bike. It's pretty green tho ;) Now I have all the equipment in the world to do what ever I want. Although, it's seems like minimum recovery time for my leg is gonna be 4 weeks!! :/ Program is pushing me to do running exercise in the water, as much as I ever can take it.

I don't know if I told you my plans for next season:

15.11.-30.12. California
10.-19.1. Spain
1.2.-30.4. New Zealand
After this few Euro rounds, Finnish Champs and World Champs. Easily one year is gone again :)

Shortly: My leg is broken again.. and again doctors didn't believe it. 3th time that same leg is broken and never the doctors has believed it's in the bone.

During last week, I have used 1000euros to get this leg fixed. Took Xray, MRI.. It's broken from the same place as last time and that's no good.

Doctors has shown ones more that 95% of them are useless..

For over an hour I have been sitting quietly. Silence is so deep that it feels like you could here dust floating on air. By rumbling my stomach reminds me that I should eat. I take fright even from the sound ofI restarting the laptop.

Just a moment ago I were spending my last moments of being homeless by riding on dirt jumps. Now I'm at cottage sitting on rocker. On the floor I have some kind of scribble of mattresses, that's my own bed! When I left from dirt jumps I got good feeling, but I never knew it's getting to this! I'm just sitting and staring.

The last days I have been practicing on dirt jumps. I think it's really refreshing to try something different. At least little different. I mean not being on the track. Yesterday I saw document of an pro-surfer Kalle Carranza. Kalle was raised and born in Mexico, but decided to move to Finland to study. There were documentary made of him 2008. In the film Kalle explaned how everything is based on the feeling you get. Back in the days while surfing he used to feel that he don't need anything else from the life than surfing. "The feeling is so good that you can't even dream of doing anything else, that's what's called stoke". Kalle thinks that you should get that feeling from everything what you are doing. "If you don't get it, stop right away and try something ele".

Then he didn't get it anymore. It was gone for good. He got bored or something. He had had it all. When he saw his friends surfing and atill getting stoke from it, he even got little bit jealous.

I haven't lost my zeal for riding if someone started to think that. I still get stoked everytime I ride my bike. Or now when I got home :) Feeling is great. I know Kalle was talking about the same feeling. I saw it from Kalle's eyes. That's amazing!!

New home makes my thoughts run wild: I will get my own wardrobe, no one cares if I make my bed or not, or where do I leave my tooth brush, OR IF I WALK IN WITH SHOES!! And of course I can build dirt jumps on my own yard!!!!

p.s. Tomorrow I will have MRI, I hope it will solve the problem