I'm carrying out old furniture from my apartment. Dad is here as my guest, or should I say my helper (I'm so glad for that). I have being building up tomorrow for too long. Most of the days I work for making things for tomorrow. First I didn't have water at all. When I got it on I was happy as. Then I started to question that the water was cold. After couple of weeks I got heater for water and all came good again. After a while I started to get tired of having only one working tap. Doing my dishes in the shower... I got a sink in the toilet, yey! After that I got laundry machine. Now I deeply want to get water to kitchen too. Can't even imagine what I want after that. I want them , but do I really need them. Does this make my to be happy today? Kind of, but still if I would need to do all this work again. I think I would give up. 

Even my training is happening for future. I don't really care about being happy and enjoying about riding today. When I finally made a progress on my manuals I was so happy. I thought that's gonna make me enjoy riding. It does, but now I'm getting worried about that my jumping is not good enough. I trick myself like I would be little kid. Time after time I tell myself that when I learn this I will just be happy and enjoy riding as it is. Well, I can tell you, that's not gonna happen.

Too often people, including me, take things for granted. Finnish people expect that they are supposed to get free education, free healthcare, they are supposed to get support money if they don't earn enough on their own. I'm supposed to get pension when I have brain damage. Suddenly things changes from gifts to somethings we are supposed to get. No one has even promise us tomorrow. So we should be happy for what we have today (and what we are today). And take everything as extra.

My quest hosting time has started. On the same day my dad leaves, arrive the next quests.. pretty cool :) In the photos my dad is building up his muscles for tomorrow, I'm building a training rack also for tomorrow. Extra is a dairy protein thing what I found from grocery store and cooker hood that we got in the kitchen!!

Week is gone again.. where should I start. First I wanna show you little bit what I have done to my home. I stayed 4 days without running water. Well I was able to flush the toilet but for shower I had to buy bottled water from grocery store. I can tell that actually you get a long with such a small amount of water when needed. I recommend everyone to turn water of for 4 days so we would think more how we use it :) Here is some pics anyways: 

And on Finnish part of the blog I was telling people to go and sign in for the big races. Everyone should go! But what I think is that the first big race you go you should forget all the goals about winning race etc. The first time you go and take it as an experience. It's pretty different thing to be on gate when everything runs fast, things are spoken in English, or even on some other language you don't understand. Just go there and get thru the day would be good achievement on it's own. 

And I was also talking about what it means when you go to Worlds and promise to be there for someone. That it is a big thing for the ones who are racing. Not being there after you promised so is massive. Better to not promise and if you make it it will be just extra... I'm hoping to stay with NZ team for the next worlds too. This time I'm not taking anyone with me just because the ones who were in Worlds last year are now the ones to teach the others ;) and I'm free :)

And the best mistake I have made in my life... I got my money from RockStar. Somehow I just forgot all the things I need to pay and I went and bought dirt bike! I love it. Riding it is so much fun!!! It's my teacher for BMX, because with that one I can try the things I can not do with BMX... so after I get more comfortable I can do them also on BMX. Ok, it wasn't the wisest thing to do, but how many times the wise desiccion have been the ones which takes you to the top?

And here is one manual from my home track:

Straight to the point, because I already missed my bedtime by 29min. I have had this interesting (or bothering) block for last couple of weeks. The block is stopping my to share my good experiences. It's stopping me from telling anything about BMX. I know where this block got started but that's not the main thing right now. The problem is that that's not who I am. If I learn something I totally do wanna share it with others. When I share it I do think that others might be able to use the same technique or get encouraged to step away from the comfortable zone to reach even bigger comfort. But now a voice in my head is just telling me that I actually don't wanna share it, I don't need to.

I'm still not able to share the things and I'm looking myself as a fly on the wall and thinking who is that chic? What is she doing and why? What would it take away from her if she would share things? Good damn those selfish self-righteous... let's leave it there coz some kids might also read this :)

My goal is to get over this block. Actually about a week ago I was talking to Robert de Wilde about this. After a long conversation the main message he gave to me was that I should not let others thoughts or acts to change who I am. And at the moment I'm acting against my own values, just because of what someone did or didn't do. I'm trying to use this article to get me over that block. 

Okey, let me share one training. It's kinda small thing, but actually I liked it a lot. One time when I was training with a coach. I was warming up and the coach told me to ride one lap and turn my wrists pointing forward. For the second lap I was supposed to keep my hands the way they were but also turn my front pedal to back. That was pretty uncomfortable. That's the point! Easy way to get uncomfortable. To learn to make yourself to be fine with uncomfortable. To learn yourself to concentrate on the right thing, even there is something bothering you. Something like you feel that you can't do the things that you should be good at. And that also teaches you to be more as a one with your bike. 

Actually when I was learning to be snowboarding instructor we were snowboarding almost all the time with back foot in front. That way you were able to feel how it feels when you are learning, and why it's not that easy. Most of the snowboarders are useless with going wrong foot first. When I rode my wrists pointing front and my legs opposite to normal I got this huge flash back to snowboarding. I can say after I had snowboard 10 days with my wrong foot in front I was so much better to snowboard the normal way. Like I would got transfer from linear game to 3D. So if you are coaching or instructing BMX take a moment and try the basics with having your wrists pointing in front. Have your pedals opposite to normal. Maybe put your hands crossed or your legs. If you still don't notice any difference get them all at the same time and try to manual, or double manual. If someone wants to understand how the beginners feel on BMX track or heading any new things they need to make themselves to go there :)

And the ice block I mentioned in the headline is for my legs. They are getting some cold as spikes again. Not that I would have done anything else than trained but that's what seems to happen always. They don't recover but feels like someone is holding ice block next to my tights or even spikes with ice needle to my tights.. yea, so if anyone knows what I'm talking about or what I'm supposed to do to get it stop please tell me :)